Work completely took over my life this week. Lost a lot of sleep, and the sleep I did get was full of dreams of work. It all hinged on this one document I had to create and finish by today. And I started it last Thursday/Friday. So barely one week, zero experience of writing such a document, and people breathing down my neck about it made for a very unpleasant five days. Numerous times this week I actually wished I was dead or asked myself why the hell am I in engineering. Not that this document was even that engineering-related! It was more the problem of dealing with an annoying, perfectionist work "buddy" aka bitch. All she did was assign me stuff to add and then criticize what I had. That and another coworker who just kept nitpicking. So two people nitpicking everything is definitely not a picnic at the park. It took all I had to not burst into tears a few times this week. Instead I'd have panic attacks where suddenly my heart rate would go up and I would start getting really warm. I really don't think it's good when work is affecting my physical and mental state that much.
And as a result of work stress and lack of a good sleep, I had a lot of numb workouts. Like I was doing what was planned, but it felt like I wasn't all there. I don't think that's good either. I guess my conundrum right now is whether to follow my coach's plan to a T even if my body doesn't feel so well or just do what I can. Like I really want to do everything, but I can feel myself starting to crack. Maybe next week will be better, I'm scared though if I don't do everything then I won't be prepared for Lake Placid. It is really hard to train 15-20 hours while working 45 hour weeks. Especially since it pretty much requires 8 hours of sleep a night, which is another 64 hours per week.
Tomorrow I do a 66 mile organized, unsupported ride. Here's to surviving and not getting a flat tire or other mechanical problem!
6 comments:
Hey Amy, hope you're feeling better. I've had my share of long days, but one way or another things tend to turn up. Is this one of your rotations or a permanent position?
Hope you can find a good balance between work and training. Have a good weekend!
That is ridiculous. I don't understand borderline-abusive coworkers.
The only way I can possible understand why a coworker could be a complete ass would be if they felt threatened by your own abilities. Seriously. Why else? Who else benefits?
Keep your head up, Amy. Regardless of whether or not you're in engineering, you'll need to grow thick skin and roll with the punches when they come.
I agree with James. Get yourself a thicker skin, have confidence in your own abilities and learn to roll with the punches. I hope your weekend is good and maybe, with some good sleep, next week will be better.
huh, I remember hiding in the bathroom and crying my first month working in Dallas. part of it is the stress of moving to a new place and new job....try to chill. email the Coach about your extra stress and he should help you rework your training plan so that you can get done what you need without the stress of not getting in all the training! also...this is the 2nd time I want to ask...don't you know how to change a flat by yourself? You sound like you'd be freaked out if you got a flat tire. I always carry two tubes, a patch kit, and a hand pump. no CO2.
sounds terrible :(
i hate it when i'm so stressed about something that i dream about it. ughh
keep strong amy! other people shouldn't have the power to make you crumble. love ya!
here's a hint. I know it's hard but when you are working out focus all your stress there and not only will your workout be better but you'll be able to handle the stress at work better. kill the workout and work will be a lot easier.
just think one thing at a time and NOT the big picture. things can get outta hand that way.
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