Surreal

While I procrastinate on studying for my interview (who uses Visual Basic nowadays anyways?) I will take you back in time.

2 years and 1 or 2 weeks ago I was staying at this very hotel in Austin with my father as we searched for an apartment for me to live in during my 7 month long co-op tour here.

1 year ago I had been in Folsom for 3 days so far with my mother. We were looking for an apartment for me to live in for an unknown period of time.

And today I am back in Austin for an interview and wondering how the hell I made all these choices that got me to this place in life. Every time I come back to Austin I realize how miserable I am in Folsom. My friends wrote me a thank you note for coming to their wedding that made me cry. It made me remember that I'm not forgotten and alone and what it's like to have friends who care and actually would like if I came back. If I was to leave Folsom today no one would give a fuck. I could disappear and poof all gone and forgotten.

There are some good moments in California, but the shitty times are really freaking miserable. Last weekend was just a reminder of how fucked up it can be.