Mindset

It really is about the mindset for IM. If you go into race day doubting yourself, doubting you finishing, then you're done. You will not make it. You gotta think positive and you gotta believe in yourself. I found that out the hard way today.

The day started out mostly calmly. I was fixing a guy's wetsuit 20 seconds before the swim started. Gun or whatever went off and I slowly waded into the water. We were told it was a balmy (sarcasm) 66 degrees...maybe it would have been worth it to wear a full-sleeve wetsuit. Instead, I had my sleeveless since I feel I swim better in it. The initial first part of the swim was calm, but soon enough I found myself near the buoy in the middle of a bar fight. First time I've really ever gotten kicked in the face and hit in the face. I also had my legs grabbed several times. I'm like dude people, aren't you watching where you're going? After the second turn, just past halfway of the swim, I knew I was going to be in trouble if I didn't swim faster and get out of the water. So I began to swim harder, still surrounded by people of course. Stood up too early at the end (since everyone else was doing it) and lost a minute or so as the bottom was all rocky and hard to walk fast.

By the time I got into T1 I was shaking. Thank you so much to the volunteer who helped dry me off and put on my jersey, arm warmers, knee warmers, jacket, gloves, socks, and shoes, as I sat there shivering. I spent about 15 minutes in transition.

Got onto the bike, slowly spun my way out of town. The first 40 miles I did at a nice 20 mph. It went through the small towns south of Penticton, including Oliver, where the really sweet massage therapist I had twice this week lives. She recognized me (somehow) and cheered loudly. It perked me up to hear her! Then we hit Richter Pass, which wasn't too bad. Around mile 60 my right hip seized. And then my quad went. Initially I thought it was a problem with the new bike fit, then later on the ride I realized it was probably overcompensating for my left leg. So for the last 52 miles, where the headwinds were the worst, the roads were wet, and we had to climb Yellow Lake, I pretty much had no power. I had to slowly spin my way around and got passed by almost everyone. At mile 80 I almost got blown off the bike as a huge crosswind hit the bike and pushed me diagonal. At that point I was done. I was nauseous and I stopped eating, so slowly crawled my way back to the finish.

I really don't know what to do anymore. Kona is in less than 6 weeks and I've done so much sitting.