One of my friends from college passed away last night... the authorities found him by train tracks that were not near a road crossing and his bike was on the side, unharmed. The inevitable conclusion... suicide.
I met Dan because he was roommates with a friend of a friend. We were all in CS 173 Discrete Math together. Tuesday and Thursday, second semester freshmen year, 10-10:50am. This mean we had class together and would usually go to lunch at ISR together afterwards. Dan and I also both lived in FAR (Florida Avenue Residences) and occasionally I would run into him around the dorm and I think I had Sunday brunch him once or twice. I also had a massive crush on him that semester, though he had a girlfriend. I remember him talking about how to tell if strawberries were ripe or overripe - it depended on how visible the seeds were. This is a tip I still carry with me nowadays. It also was ironic that his father had been an associate professor at RPI (where my father is a professor) before Dan was born, and his family lived in Troy, NY.
The following semester (first semester sophomore year) Dan happened to be in my CS 225 lecture. He didn't come to lecture that often, but when he did we usually sat together somewhere in the back. That was the last actual class I had with him, though since he was in CS and I was a computer engineer, I would occasionally run into him at Siebel. And the last semester I was on campus (my super senior fall semester) we actually lived near each other in Urbana, just east of campus. I saw him around there, and at the farmer's market, and at Siebel. I remember complimenting him (slightly sarcastically) on a red sweater with glitter stripes) he was wearing around the holidays.
Since I stalk Facebook rather religiously, I noticed this past fall or winter that Dan was getting into chocolate making. I also read his blog occasionally, which was all about food. Being a supporter of artisan goods, I asked him if I could buy some of this chocolate and if he could ship it to the west coast. And he said yes! So I ordered some bars, and he shipped them to me, and they were yummy! A few months later, out of the blue, I received a couple more pieces of chocolate from him. He wrote me a note to say thanks and that he was taking a break from grad school to open a chocolate factory. I greatly admired and envied him for having the ambition, something that I always wanted to do but never had the nerve to try.
Most recently Dan was mentioning homemade Nutella he was making on his FB page. I had asked him a couple weeks ago if it would be stable enough to ship to the west coast, and he had said yes. So just this week I was planning to email him about ordering some...
I haven't been able to pin down why this is bothering me so much. Well, there are many reasons but I still haven't formulized all of them yet I think. One, he is my age and he had such great potential in my opinion. He set the curve in our CS classes and was now going on to run what seemed to be a successful chocolate company. But then again, I can see the other side. I have been on the other side. Sometimes I still fall over onto that other side. Everyone thinks your life is great, and you're successful, but there's some thing just bothering you. Maybe you just don't deserve to be on this earth anymore. Maybe this is just a fluke and one day everything is going to fall apart. Maybe... I will forever scratch my head over this, though deep down, I do understand.
Third, Dan was doing what I would love to do. He was involved in artisan foods, foods from scratch, farmer's markets, the slow food movement. That has always been something I've been interested in and I envied him for being willing to take chances.
Rest in peace Dan. You will be greatly missed, but are an inspiration to us all.
I met Dan because he was roommates with a friend of a friend. We were all in CS 173 Discrete Math together. Tuesday and Thursday, second semester freshmen year, 10-10:50am. This mean we had class together and would usually go to lunch at ISR together afterwards. Dan and I also both lived in FAR (Florida Avenue Residences) and occasionally I would run into him around the dorm and I think I had Sunday brunch him once or twice. I also had a massive crush on him that semester, though he had a girlfriend. I remember him talking about how to tell if strawberries were ripe or overripe - it depended on how visible the seeds were. This is a tip I still carry with me nowadays. It also was ironic that his father had been an associate professor at RPI (where my father is a professor) before Dan was born, and his family lived in Troy, NY.
The following semester (first semester sophomore year) Dan happened to be in my CS 225 lecture. He didn't come to lecture that often, but when he did we usually sat together somewhere in the back. That was the last actual class I had with him, though since he was in CS and I was a computer engineer, I would occasionally run into him at Siebel. And the last semester I was on campus (my super senior fall semester) we actually lived near each other in Urbana, just east of campus. I saw him around there, and at the farmer's market, and at Siebel. I remember complimenting him (slightly sarcastically) on a red sweater with glitter stripes) he was wearing around the holidays.
Since I stalk Facebook rather religiously, I noticed this past fall or winter that Dan was getting into chocolate making. I also read his blog occasionally, which was all about food. Being a supporter of artisan goods, I asked him if I could buy some of this chocolate and if he could ship it to the west coast. And he said yes! So I ordered some bars, and he shipped them to me, and they were yummy! A few months later, out of the blue, I received a couple more pieces of chocolate from him. He wrote me a note to say thanks and that he was taking a break from grad school to open a chocolate factory. I greatly admired and envied him for having the ambition, something that I always wanted to do but never had the nerve to try.
Most recently Dan was mentioning homemade Nutella he was making on his FB page. I had asked him a couple weeks ago if it would be stable enough to ship to the west coast, and he had said yes. So just this week I was planning to email him about ordering some...
I haven't been able to pin down why this is bothering me so much. Well, there are many reasons but I still haven't formulized all of them yet I think. One, he is my age and he had such great potential in my opinion. He set the curve in our CS classes and was now going on to run what seemed to be a successful chocolate company. But then again, I can see the other side. I have been on the other side. Sometimes I still fall over onto that other side. Everyone thinks your life is great, and you're successful, but there's some thing just bothering you. Maybe you just don't deserve to be on this earth anymore. Maybe this is just a fluke and one day everything is going to fall apart. Maybe... I will forever scratch my head over this, though deep down, I do understand.
Third, Dan was doing what I would love to do. He was involved in artisan foods, foods from scratch, farmer's markets, the slow food movement. That has always been something I've been interested in and I envied him for being willing to take chances.
Rest in peace Dan. You will be greatly missed, but are an inspiration to us all.
1 comment:
I work in the basement of Lincoln Sq Mall and they have a tribute to him outside of Common Ground Food Coop. It just clicked today that this is the same person you are talking about here. I'm sorry for your loss. :(
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