A Learning Process

Life is definitely a learning process. Each workout, each race, each workday, you learn something about yourself. And I love learning. So I don't know why this lesson took so long to learn, or at least make sense in my head. I am not a moderation person. I am an all in person. That means I am all in at work - I will work myself sick (did that this week again) to get the job done. That also means I am all in when it comes to whatever hobby I happen to be pursuing - greeting card making when I was a kid, or painting walls and corkboards and random stuff, or watching Food Network and bread baking and cooking and candy making. Triathlon happens to be a hobby that has stuck and sustained a large part in my life since 2006. Which evolved from distance running which started in dryland work for the high school crew team. (And I was all in for crew, starting in 2000.)

The Gazette Stockade-athon, my first 15k in 2003. 

And even though I keep trying to get out of tris, I have never been successful. Even after I mentally quit numerous times during Wildflower in 2011, I still went on to do two more half irons that summer for fun. It's somewhat ironic I am learning this lesson this morning, as yesterday at Atomic as we were carrying a heavy kettlebell (20kg for female, 24kg+ for male) on the 1200m loop, I was chatting with a fairly new guy at the gym. He was telling me how in the three plus months he's been at Atomic, he's changed his perspective of how he looks at things. And that I think is the most important takeaway of my triathlon journey and why I continue to train and race. Tough training sessions are just like hard problems at work or life. I'll get through them. They'll suck, for sure, but in the end I come out stronger or wiser.

But getting back to Atomic - I think that has been my struggle the past year or so. It's hard to be all in to two very different sport modalities. I am not a genetic freak of nature like Brian Mackenzie or Alex Viada. And as much as I want to back squat really heavy, I also want to win my age group. And I think... winning my age group or podium-ing at a big race would be more satisfying that a new lifting max.

Alex Viada, who can deadlift 700lbs and run a 4:xx mile.

So I think that gives me my answer. After 4 years of waffling around, it's time to commit again. And be all in to triathlon. I will of course continue to strength train, but no longer as a focus and trying to hit big numbers and beating myself up when I don't PR.

So here's to planning the next 5-6 years, in hopes of getting myself back to the big dance!